"My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others."
Bob Hope
Hey Adventers,
Today we have a Loving Kindness meditation, this is one of the most powerful and important practises that you can do. It’s so simple, but don’t be fooled by it’s simplicity it’s deeply profound and not as easy as it seems on the surface.
Practising this meditation can truly change your life.
Apparently the Dalai Lama does a version of this every day, so there you go.
You are probably aware that we have two states in our nervous system, our parasympathetic state, commonly known as the ‘rest and digest’ state.
And our sympathetic, or ‘flight or fight state’.
Now both of these states are very important for keeping us alive and we are driven by very different things depending on what state of our nervous system we are in.
Think of your flight or fight state as your emergency system, this is for when poo poo hits the fan and you need to focus on imminent survival.
And your rest and digest state is for when the poo poo has died down and we need to get the things done that help us keep going as a society and species.
Human beings are pretty weird creatures when you think about it, we are bald, not that fast, we can’t climb, swim, see, hear as well as most other animals. There’s not many animals we’d be able to kill with our bare hands or defend ourself again. All things considered I doubt I’d win a fair fight with a goat to be honest.
And yet, we here we are top of the food chain.
Why? Because we can cooperate and communicate in very complex and sophisticate ways. Take this right here, I just got you to imagine me fighting a goat and you’re reading this in a completely different place and time to me THROUGH THE INTERNET. Madness.
And because we need to cooperate for survival when we are in the rest and digest state we are primed for bonding and social behaviours.
BUT when we are in the flight or fight state that goes out the window and it’s more ‘every man for themselves’, after all if there’s a tiger chasing you it’s more important than your faster than your neighbours not that you’re friend with them
You may have heard the expression that we can be driven by love or fear, and I really think that this boils down to the different states of our nervous system.
It also explains why it can sometimes feel like there’s two versions of you, one thats super kind and loving and patient, and one thats very irritable and hates everyone. They both real and you, it’s just whether you’re in rest and digest, or flight or fight.
(If you ever can’t work out which nervous system state you’re in, imagine a loved one hugging you from behind while you’re doing the dishes, would you cuddle into them or wriggle out of it?)
A lone human won’t survive, we see being out of the group as a very real threat to our safety. Because it is! So we are biologically primed for connection.
If you’ve ever been to a birthing class you are probably aware of the hormone oxytocin, commonly referred to as the love hormone. Oxytocin isn’t just for pregnancy and birth, it’s also a very powerful pain killer and stress relief in every day life. And it’s produced through bonding. (The production of oxytocin actually inhibits the production of cortisol (the stress hormone) in the brain, which is why things don’t stress you out as much when you’re in love)
And it’s why touch, connection and love is all incredibly healing and important for our wellbeing.
It’s not just a hippy dippy nice to have, it’s central to the very core of what makes us human.
So have more hugs, enjoy self massage and do your loving kindness meditations, it’s important.
Let me know how you get on!
Much Love,
Jo xx
PS
I’m sorry to report that the light display WAS a ploy to get us to buy overpriced candy floss, but we had a wonderful time and I’m sure we’ll get scammed again next year when we inevitably return.
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